Life from no baby to 1 baby is… rocky, or shall I say… NEW.
If you’ve never had a growing, whining, crying human looking for your attention 24 hours a day, then the adjustment from going to no baby to 1 baby is going to be… ‘NEW’.
But don’t worry! 🙂 Nothing compares to going from no baby to 1 baby. Once you’ve got that under your belt… you’re good to go. I think! 😉
Life from 1 baby to 2 babies is also… “NEW”. The baby part you’ve got down pat. You’ll know which cries are real cries and not fake ones. You’ll expect that someone’s always going to be crying and (oh hey!) sometimes it’s YOU. But you’re more confident. You’ve got a handle on things. You know how fast the baby stage goes by, so you cherish it.
The big thing that changes is the dynamic. Balancing everyone’s needs and caring for everyone is different with two. It’s hard to explain… but with 2, each parent now has a child or sometimes 1 parent is alone with both kids. My husband and I are finding ways on making our days go smoother (less tantrums and tears) and teaching our kids how to be independent. I’m still learning how to manage this change, but I’ve picked up a few hacks in my time with a 7 month old and a 3 year old.
1. Limit TV time
GASP!! Shocker I know. With my 1st, the TV was on ALL DAY. I would nurse her and binge watch Netflix. We’d watch Sesame Street during breakfast, Paw Patrol in the afternoon and the Wiggles at night. We would tinker, build, colour and the TV would be on in the background. Now with my second… I had to find a way to keep my 3 year old occupied and quiet while I went upstairs to put the baby to bed. I use the TV as a “Treat”! We quit the TV cold turkey and now only put it on when it’s “quiet time”. This is when I take baby Nash upstairs and put him down for a nap. While he’s sleeping, Mikayla sits on the couch all cozy with her bunny, blanket and watches a few episodes of her favourite shows. This is also the time where I can get some work done!
2. Montessori methods
I borrowed a few things from the Montessori method that is helping my 3-year old do things independently. Like put on her own shoes, take out her own toys and put them away (not always the case… haha) and wash her own hands. These little things totally help. Most of her shoes are velcro or slip on and she can get them on herself. I’ve put stickers from Mabels Labels in her shoes to help her figure out which shoe is the left and which one is the right (Use my promo code URBANMOM for 10% off site wide at mabelslabels.com,excluding stamps).
For her toys, they’re all in accessible drawers and bins. They’re organized by activities, so when it’s time to put things away she knows all the craft things go in the craft drawer, all building things go on the shelf and all the stuffed animals go in the bins. There’s a stool in every bathroom so she can reach the sink. Hooks, clothes, all of her things are at her level where she can practice doing things independently.
I also rotate her toys. Overtime I’ll notice she doesn’t play with certain things as much as others, so I’ll put them away and bring it back another time. That way, playtime is always new and engaging which means she is occupied and I can tend to the baby and feed him, play with him or put him down for a nap.
3. Have a schedule
Everyday Mikayla asks me “What we doin’ today Mom?” I go through the plan with her. First we eat breakfast, then we’ll go to school. After school we’ll have lunch then quiet time (TV time), then we will play, have dinner, bath, story, bed. Having a plan gives her structure and she loves the routine. This helps our day go smoother. She knows what’s coming up next and there are almost no tantrums but definitely less whining. 🙂
4. Snacks
This could be an exaggeration… but dealing with hangry kids is like dealing with your emotional, drunk friends. They’re crying, laughing, loud, angry…. but mostly crying. And their bodies are limp, noodle-like, sloppy, they’re all over the place. They’ve lost all control! Can you picture it?
Back to planning and having a schedule… If I know we are going out I pack a lunch kit full of snacks. Crackers, dried fruit, apple sauce, cheese sticks, blueberries, grapes, cucumbers, seaweed! Baby Mum Mums! You name it! I got it! If we’re at home, I prep snacks and put them in the fridge so they’re easy to grab with one hand. Just gotta be ready, yenno?
5. Humor
When I start to get mad because my 3-year old isn’t listening, I tickle her. Is that wrong? I have no idea. But it turns what could be a yelling situation into a “HAHA look at this funny thing” situation. My husband is really good at this. I noticed the change and so I do it now too. I avoid making her feel bad and me feel bad with a fun, goofy thing. We do have serious talks where I tell her she has to listen but I find myself showing her how to listen and setting an example is easier than trying to explain it to her when she’s acting out and not listening. When I mix in humour, we get things done a little faster. For example, if it’s bath time and Mikayla doesn’t want to go to the bathroom to take a bath, I’ll tickle her and chase her into the bathroom! Ta-daaa!! Mommy’s got all the tricks… 😉
Amanda is a writer, photographer, videographer and a content creator with a passion for sharing stories. With her family of 5, they share experiences, tips and ideas that empower Moms to make memories with their families right here in British Columbia.
